I grew up in the era of what is known as being a “latch-key” kid. This wasn’t uncommon for Generation X and many of my little friends were in the same boat. My dad worked until dinner time and although my mom was home, she would be taking her daily nap when I got home from school, and I knew not to disturb her. Mom had multiple sclerosis and needed extra rest to rejuvenate each day and keep up with daily demands of life and raising children.
The school bus stop was up the road from my house and on my way home I always walked by Sumi’s house which sat adjacent from ours and across the side street. Sumi was old, at least from my perspective, which meant she was probably in her fifties. Sumi took an immediate interest in me and I in her. She “coincidentally” was outside gardening each day at the same time my school bus was dropping me off from school. With a big, bright, beautiful smile she’d wave and say, “Katie, Katie, come here, come here!” And that is how our friendship began. Sumi and I were both “latch-key folk”, me as a kid of seven or eight, she as a housewife whose kids were grown. Her husband worked as a professor at the local university and we both had the afternoons to ourselves.
One day after sitting at her table and enjoying freshly made chai tea and English butter cookies, Sumi said, “Katie! Would you like to meditate?” I naturally said “Yes!” This was my first lesson in formal meditation. Sumi brought two small mats out to the living room floor and sat comfortably on one of them, instructing me to do the same. She placed her palms up and rested her hands on her knees, I followed her lead. It became very quiet, and I wondered what the next instruction would be. Looking to Sumi for guidance, I found her eyes closed with a happy, peaceful expression on her face. I had no idea about this thing called meditation but was interested in anything Sumi wanted to share, so I too began to rest, and quickly found myself feeling very relaxed and peaceful. “Hello, Katie?” Sumi’s warm voice came literally from within me. “Katie, how did you like it?” I opened my eyes to Sumi’s living room which was now dark. The sun had gone down, and I wondered if I had missed dinner! How could it be, I had just closed my eyes a moment ago. I looked to Sumi with a question I couldn’t articulate, but she just smiled and hurried me off my matt telling me I must be getting home now, it was dinner time.
My mom checked in with Sumi frequently to make sure I wasn’t a bother, and of course she said that I was the opposite and was welcome any time. My afternoon stop at Sumi’s house was part of my normal routine for many years, and I learned many wonderful things. I had never eaten Indian food and Sumi introduced me to everything she cooked. I learned how she and her husband moved to London at a young age from India after they were married, and that she hadn’t met her husband until the week before her wedding! I learned how they moved to the US after her husband was offered a professor position at Cornell University, and how with each move Sumi dug up a few of her favorite plants she had planted in the garden and brought them with her to each new home. She said she loved them too much to leave them. Her garden was her masterpiece. It was a living testament of her devotion to her family, the places they lived, the life she was given. Over the years she had made her garden and her life beautiful.
My family eventually moved to another home a few miles away. I don’t remember saying goodbye to Sumi, maybe it’s because I never did.
There is something magical and beautiful about life when I think about the people that have come into mine. They have always been there at just the right time, to share and teach me something I needed. Sumi taught me so much more than gardening, meditating, or enjoying chai tea. She showed me that friendship is universal. It doesn’t have a shape or size or color or creed. It doesn’t even have an age. Friendship has only one agenda, to celebrate life, and that is what we did!
Thank you, Sumi.
Katie