I was fortunate to grow up with a lot of support in school when I was young. Being dyslexic made traditional schooling challenging, even with the special support, school was always a struggle for me. As kids go back to school after a year and a half of home schooling during covid, I’m reminded how tough it is being a kid, and as adults how easily we forget the struggles of growing and becoming, especially in those early years.
I don’t remember everything about my childhood experience in school, but there are some poignant memories that have stayed with me. One such memory was when I was in the fifth grade, the last grade of elementary school. It was autumn time, like it is now, and school had recently started up for the year. Having been in special classes to help me learn to read and write, I was now transitioning into “mainstream” classes, and I was not impressed. For the past five years I had been nurtured by the most wonderful woman named Ms. Aigen, and my fellow classmates were an eclectic group of children with various challenges and real lovers of life, just like me! I soon found out in the traditional classroom setting that “mainstream” children were more interested in competing with one another, showing off, or keeping to themselves. As the weeks passed, I found myself becoming one of the children that kept to themselves, preferring solitude over an almost constant state of confusion I found myself in. I missed my friends from Ms. Aigen’s class, and I missed Ms. Aigen.
One day we were instructed to write a story about something that made us happy! I was thrilled, I loved to write! Although I struggled with learning to read and write, I found a love for beauty in words that my teacher Ms. Aigen nurtured in me. Being the insightful and wonderful teacher she was, she taught me to read by using poetry. At a very young age I became a poet! Sitting at my desk, pencil in hand, clean sheet of paper, ahhh……a blank canvas – GO! I knew something would magically appear and when it did, pencil to paper, I was in my own world of happiness! Time dissolved when I was writing, and later I learned that this was called “being in the zone.” Startled out of my zone, I found my teacher standing over me. “Please finish your work outside in the common area,” she said, with a forced smile on her face. Confusion being my norm, this experience was no exception. Apparently, everyone was finished but me. I stood up, grabbed my paper and pencil, and headed out of the room.
The common area was a space with a large round table and chairs that was the hub and entrance to four classrooms that branched off like wheel spokes. It was quiet, and at the table sat Margo. I had seen Margo before; she was one of the kids that kept to herself. Other kids made fun of her, she had a dirty face, her hair was unbrushed, and she always wore the same few sets of clothes. I remember one boy laughing at her calling her “Messy Margo”. Walking to the table I pulled out the small chair and plopped down. Two outcasts separated from everyone yet sitting together in what was known as the “common area”. I hadn’t learned irony at that young age but writing about this now makes me smile. Having been shocked out of my writer’s zone and cast out from the group, I felt a deep feeling of unfairness and outrage at my current situation. Why was life so confusing?! As my feelings dissolved into silence, I looked up and saw Margo looking at me. “Hi.” I said, “My name is Katie.” Her face lit up. “HI!” We began to talk. Two outcasts in the common area.
Later that day my teacher called me aside after the rest of the class was dismissed. My stomach dropped and I braced myself for whatever I had done wrong. “Katie,” she said, “I want you to read this story.” She handed me a crinkled piece of paper which was the story that Margo had written. As I read, I learned that Margo had made a new friend, and that this made her happier than she had ever been in the whole world! I was glad she made a friend and wondered who that could be. Looking up at my teacher I saw a genuine smile on her face that softened her entire being. In that timeless moment of understanding, I smiled too.
We never know what unexpected circumstances we may find ourselves in, or how we may touch the life of another. We grow up and become adults yet find ourselves remaining big kids at heart. I love when someone shares their friendship with me or gives an act of kindness. In this common area we call life, it is friendship and kindness we truly have in common, that we truly love to share.
Katie